[Grant & Denise's wedding -- May 28, 2011]
My name is Dmitry and I have been one of Grant’s best friends since 2001, which is 10 years!
Over these long years, we have experienced some good times, and a few bad times.
It all started with a good time at the first Gallagher residence in East Brunswick,
We studied the history of Highland and Lowland single malt, did a little bit of interior redecorating, and woke up with just a bit of a headache,
That night solidified the fact that we would add many more good times to our collection of memories,
Like when we played acoustic guitar and smoked victory cigars on the streets of Seaside to celebrate graduating from high school
And all the ski trips, where our hanging out by the fireplace vs. actually skiing ratio reached 100% quite a few times
It's amazing to stand here as the best man at Grant’s wedding, when not too long ago we were celebrating Bacardi Tuesdays.
And I have a few more college stories.
In college, Grant did well in real classes like biochemistry and linear algebra, and he also held his own in the liberal arts world of Karl Marx and American party politics
It was impressive, considering he moved to a new country at age 18 and as a Scotsman was not at all familiar with what we, in this country, call “English”
Despite being threatened to take ESL classes at the Middlesex County College of Hard Knocks, Grant managed to earn a high GPA at Rutgers University and shock the college world with a groundbreaking invention: The Scottish Sleeping Method
For those of you not familiar with this method, it involves ignoring a sleeping bag and pillow, or even a spare bed, in preference of sleeping in an uncomfortable wooden chair while leaning on a desk, wall, or another household object
I’ll tell you this Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher--your son is turning out to be a pretty good scientist in this life, but in the next one he may use his uncanny balancing skills to become the next Dirk Nowitzki!
Now, I’d like to point out that -- despite our decade-long friendship and the fact that I have known Grant twice as long as Denise, he has never given me jewelry or planned a trip to Hawaii…
Seems like Denise got the good stuff, while I got a catfish in Virginia!
Let’s talk about Denise for a minute.
[boisterous applause]
You know, I remember the day I met Denise back in Baltimore...in fact, I may remember that day even better than she does.
Denise and Grant really fell in love almost right away, and I knew they would end up together. The fact that Grant liked a girl that liked Britney Spears was clear proof that the Scotsman found his future bride.
Today, I’d like to thank Denise -- for her patience, not only with her husband, but also with me and the rest of the insane Russian posse.
Before I close out my toast, I would like to point out one last point: today, we are exactly 7 days past the Rapture, which was last Saturday at 6 pm.
These two had the courage to schedule their wedding after the end of the world, and that is an impressive testament to their rational thinking!
But weddings aren’t about rational thinking, so I wish for you two eternal love and a bond that will outlive countless other prophesies, myths, and doomsday scenarios.
No matter what crazy thing happens in 2012, you will have each other and that’s what matters.
Cheers!
Over these long years, we have experienced some good times, and a few bad times.
It all started with a good time at the first Gallagher residence in East Brunswick,
We studied the history of Highland and Lowland single malt, did a little bit of interior redecorating, and woke up with just a bit of a headache,
That night solidified the fact that we would add many more good times to our collection of memories,
Like when we played acoustic guitar and smoked victory cigars on the streets of Seaside to celebrate graduating from high school
And all the ski trips, where our hanging out by the fireplace vs. actually skiing ratio reached 100% quite a few times
It's amazing to stand here as the best man at Grant’s wedding, when not too long ago we were celebrating Bacardi Tuesdays.
And I have a few more college stories.
In college, Grant did well in real classes like biochemistry and linear algebra, and he also held his own in the liberal arts world of Karl Marx and American party politics
It was impressive, considering he moved to a new country at age 18 and as a Scotsman was not at all familiar with what we, in this country, call “English”
Despite being threatened to take ESL classes at the Middlesex County College of Hard Knocks, Grant managed to earn a high GPA at Rutgers University and shock the college world with a groundbreaking invention: The Scottish Sleeping Method
For those of you not familiar with this method, it involves ignoring a sleeping bag and pillow, or even a spare bed, in preference of sleeping in an uncomfortable wooden chair while leaning on a desk, wall, or another household object
I’ll tell you this Mr. and Mrs. Gallagher--your son is turning out to be a pretty good scientist in this life, but in the next one he may use his uncanny balancing skills to become the next Dirk Nowitzki!
Now, I’d like to point out that -- despite our decade-long friendship and the fact that I have known Grant twice as long as Denise, he has never given me jewelry or planned a trip to Hawaii…
Seems like Denise got the good stuff, while I got a catfish in Virginia!
Let’s talk about Denise for a minute.
[boisterous applause]
You know, I remember the day I met Denise back in Baltimore...in fact, I may remember that day even better than she does.
Denise and Grant really fell in love almost right away, and I knew they would end up together. The fact that Grant liked a girl that liked Britney Spears was clear proof that the Scotsman found his future bride.
Today, I’d like to thank Denise -- for her patience, not only with her husband, but also with me and the rest of the insane Russian posse.
Before I close out my toast, I would like to point out one last point: today, we are exactly 7 days past the Rapture, which was last Saturday at 6 pm.
These two had the courage to schedule their wedding after the end of the world, and that is an impressive testament to their rational thinking!
But weddings aren’t about rational thinking, so I wish for you two eternal love and a bond that will outlive countless other prophesies, myths, and doomsday scenarios.
No matter what crazy thing happens in 2012, you will have each other and that’s what matters.
Cheers!
