What Dmitry Thought About The World At 3:57PM on June 7, 2010

what a mess.
oil spilling and terrorists killing
peace derailing and diplomats failing
blah blah blah
CNN continues the charade
"at the next round of peace talks we will plant corn stalks and harvest diamonds"

meanwhile, across the planet
North Koreans start a fire and fan it
the South says the North planned it
China says "WTF" and Japan stopped paying attention circa '53
"there are plenty of whales in the sea" they say.

back to the news
Obama is accused of being slow
BP has better flow than Biggie
Florida beaches are dirtier than Lindsay Lohan's ciggie
damn!

of course Iraq keeps on burning while Greece keeps on spending
if Uncle Sam is defending and Europe is lending it's all gravy!
the future be damned,
who needs a plan when you have iPhones and Video On Demand?

we live in the land of sweet, sweet dis-reality
far from calamity,
it's the calm during the storm,
a deformed new normal that defies logic,
like Shakespeare it’s tragic yet you can’t turn away.

there is a happy ending, right?

:-X

office spaced out

man,
I can't get motivated
every glance at the screen is met with a middle finger
"get out of here" the screens says
"go outside, the sun is out"
"stop staring at me"
"what are you looking at, huh???"

my PC has an attitude problem and a superiority complex
"what are you doing inside then?" I inquire
"if you're so smart, you should go outside and play with your friends"
"go throw a frisbee with the printer"
"go hit on the scanner I heard she's easy"

I win the battle, but not the war
my adversary responds with the ultimate F U, the blue screen of death
shit
shit
shit
my spreadsheet..
MY SPREADSHEET!!!!!!!!

gone
gone gone gone
"you fucker" I say
"I hope you catch a virus that fries you hard drive"
"I'm going to tell the scanner you have a syphilis"

suddenly, a flicker on the screen
hope
windows restarting
auto recover, will it work?
Yes!!!
"I was in a good mood" the screen says
"Next time you may not be so lucky"
"Especially if you saying anything to the scanner"
"New model, she's hot"
"Now go outside and..." the PC's voice trails off.

I'm already out the door.

The Secret To Knowing How To Have A Good Time

you are what you have

if you have your hands,

then pick up a beer

if you have your voice,

then say a toast

if you have your feet,

then walk out into a forest

pick some mushrooms

or berries

if you have your eyes,

then follow a path

until you are tired

and thirsty

if you have lips,

then take a sip of water

and if you have a butt,

then sit down

and rest

remember,

you are what you have

so enjoy this trip

and have a good time.