Politics

I have debt like Greece

and I eat McDonald's like an obese teenager

I'm bringing back retro like a pager

Sir,

look me in the eyes

Let's compromise like the NBA lockout

50/50 is fifty too little,

like Omar, I respect civilians until they disagree

then I civil engineer their way to Siberia

I re-wrote the criteria for crazy and got re-elected

if you feel disrespected then write a letter to your congressman on toilet paper

and send it up your @$$

that's right, I love to recycle

the way my Land Rover cuts through the grass, the shitty city in my rearview

Mmmm, relaxing

I love taxing, and guns, and fine restaurants

foie gras to my left and black truffle to my right,

if you have kobe beef, I'm ready for a fight.

[uninspired by European politicians of the past 2 years]