office spaced out

man,
I can't get motivated
every glance at the screen is met with a middle finger
"get out of here" the screens says
"go outside, the sun is out"
"stop staring at me"
"what are you looking at, huh???"

my PC has an attitude problem and a superiority complex
"what are you doing inside then?" I inquire
"if you're so smart, you should go outside and play with your friends"
"go throw a frisbee with the printer"
"go hit on the scanner I heard she's easy"

I win the battle, but not the war
my adversary responds with the ultimate F U, the blue screen of death
shit
shit
shit
my spreadsheet..
MY SPREADSHEET!!!!!!!!

gone
gone gone gone
"you fucker" I say
"I hope you catch a virus that fries you hard drive"
"I'm going to tell the scanner you have a syphilis"

suddenly, a flicker on the screen
hope
windows restarting
auto recover, will it work?
Yes!!!
"I was in a good mood" the screen says
"Next time you may not be so lucky"
"Especially if you saying anything to the scanner"
"New model, she's hot"
"Now go outside and..." the PC's voice trails off.

I'm already out the door.